maybe i should start posting my landscape studies on here, i want to actually export the files though but file navigation is a pain cause my art program doesnt want to display file thumbnails.

things are like,,,,,, yeah i know it will be fucking fine and all but can that part of the equasion like hurry the fuck up ive been waiting for half my life to catch a damn break

i gotta quit posting my old art and work on the shit im drawing now smh

they can totally see inside my head i think because they are larger than life . larger than god theory or standard enemy and they sent that thing after me i guess cause they love causing pain to random civilians. like im not fucking speical or anything they just like to torment random civilians with this psychic shit all this psychic looking into my head to find out how to torture me cause i didnt know how to beg them for mercy before so its time for me to learn like fucking hell man honestly theyve probably gone insane hundreds of years ago and they dont even know who they are anymore, theyre more like forces of nature than human now and their favourite game is chess but played with like real people really messed up man. how to find out.. i miss before it all saw to, when you know i made sense and when i didnt scare my friends with my weird shit in my head man. like my humanity they played chess and like whatever the card lady whos like off with his head right like you know. the other me is trying to speak through me i think like maybe it knows something i cant know.

maybe they know that fear is the only thing that keeps me from evil, its all manufactured so perfectly, im a docile little bunnyrabbit because i live in fear and resentment of my own body. you think maybe if i was healthy and unturned by life events i would be a cruel monster. right and maybe they know that, so maybe its for my own good they disturb my electricals and mix my stomach all up. cant tell if its all part of the plan or psychological warfare, or both.

well i know that they know maybe they know what my next move is before i do and i cant help but feel like im being watched.